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“I’m not trying to absolve myself from the mistakes I made, but you walked away.”In fact, she’d walked away multiple times, and each time, in such a way that I couldn’t talk to her, and just as the first time, with the assumption she could walk back into my life and have what she wanted. I wasn’t buying what she was selling. But I’d hear her out.“I could counter that by saying you drove me away.”“You could, but in the end, that wouldn’t change what happened, even if I were to accept 99% of the responsibility. I could see needing time away, even extended time away, but eight months? Eight months which included you having your baby and naming him? That hurt!”“I’m not trying to fight with you, Steve, but as much as you hurt me?”“Was THAT why you did it? To hurt me?”“Don’t you think we hurt each other? Repeatedly?”“But on purpose?” I asked. “I know I hurt you by not seeing you as who you were, but who I imagined you to be, and I’m sure many other ways as well. But I didn’t do it on. The following Monday I couldn't wait for work to be over so that I could rush to Elke's apartment.I walked into the room and Elke was putting our dinner into the oven. She had heard me open the door and turned to me as I hurried over to her. I put my arms around her and kissed her. She returned my kiss, but there was a hesitation—a lack of passion."What's wrong?" Nothing, Dave." Elke, something's wrong. What is it?"She looked at me shyly, "I enjoyed our weekend, but maybe our situation is going too fast. You're not always going to be posted here and..." But Elke, I love you."She smiled sadly at me and then touched my face as she stood on her toes to kiss me—this time with a little more enthusiasm.After the kiss she whispered in my ear, "When there is no good ending in sight, why rush?"So much to my dismay, our relationship went forward in slow motion. I wanted to move into her apartment; she said it was too soon.I wanted to make passionate love with her nightly; she resisted in her.
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